We gave up on excellence in parenting because there aren't enough hours in the day for careers and self-actualization and excellent parenting. Instead we push the responsibility over onto teachers, who sit there looking at a group of 20-30 kids needing adult attention, wondering how to replace the parenting that is not happening at home. It is no surprise that darn few succeed.
We have given up on having better parents because pushing for better parenting creates conflicting values. In order to have better parents we need more two-parent homes, with a stay-at-home parent to read with the children.
That conflicts with our desire to support the self-actualization of women: career growth and work that is intellectually stimulating. The need for two-parent homes conflicts with our commitment to marriages that are emotionally fulfilling. Meanwhile single-parent homes face work-parenting conflicts, with little time left for the parent to "have a life" and be a good parent.
In most developed, industrialized countries birth rates have dropped to below replacement levels. Many citizens understand they cannot do a decent job of parenting and "have a life" so they skip the parenting and have the life. Ultimately, this is self-destructive for a society.
