Monday, May 19, 2008

Apolitical Humor Alert

The following has been making the rounds on email for about a year. I have no idea the original source, a Google search turns up 15,000 hits. I love words, and that is what this humor is all about - wordplay.

HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (lovers of words)
  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Police were called to a day care where a toddler was resisting a rest.
  • This fellow's whole left side was cut off. He's all right now.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • The short fortune teller escaped from prison - a small medium at large.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
  • The math professor went crazy at the blackboard. He did a number on it.
  • The professor discovered her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
  • The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  • A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
  • A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  • A grenade fell into a kitchen in France, resulted in linoleum blown apart.
  • A calendar's days are numbered.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis
Hint: Some find reading these aloud helps.