My dear mother, smart as a whip, lived through the Depression as an adult. She never personally suffered hardship and poverty but clearly had friends and close relatives who did.
Then she lived through World War II and had 3 sibs in the service; none of them died but she knew people who did. Through it all she listened to FDR fireside chats on the radio.
Doing so left her a lifelong Democrat who married a southern Democrat - my dad. He died before the patriotic pro-military southern Democrats all became Republicans during the McGovern era.
By the time I was older and knew enough to formulate the question, I asked her why, given her interest, she wasn’t active in local Democrat politics? Her answer puzzled me then, but does not today.
She replied that she knew a number of women active in local Democrat politics and didn’t like any of them. All the women she liked were Republicans. Wasn’t this awkward I asked? She said she simply showed no interest when they talked politics, never argued with them.
At the time I imagined this would be hard, never guessing that later as an academic I would experience a similar thing in reverse. I was surrounded by Democrats I also didn’t much like and said little about politics at work.
Unlike my mother, there are Democrats I know and like. I can count them on the fingers of one hand. And we never talk politics.
